Can I be a practising Muslimah and have a career, here in the UK?

Assalam Walaikum sisters!

I've been thinking about the subject of work recently, as a Muslim, as a revert and as a British woman.

I got made redundant last month. After months of feeling financially unsafe and of work becoming more and more uncertain for 2013, my boss did what she had to do, and let go of some of her staff. That meant me.

I didn't feel that upset, to be honest, mashallah. I saw this sudden change as a blessing. For well over a year now, I had been thinking of a career change. I wanted something that allowed me to practice my faith, keep to my values, yet allow my creativity to be expressed.

I am seeing this as a sign of encouragement from Allah, subhannallah, to be brave and push myself to aim higher and gain greater achievements.

Although I am still unsure which direction to take, I have had some ideas.
But actually it isn't an easy and straight forward decision for reverts to Islam. There are many things to consider that we would not have had to think about before.

Will I be able to pray? Will I be working in a Hallal environment? Will I be ok to wear my headscarf there? Will I be regarded as good as any other employee?

To add to the equation, I have only ever worked and wanted to work in the media. How can I combine all of this together?

Inshallah.... That is the only Duah that comes to my mind.

We can sit and fret and worry, or we can leave it to the hands of Allah. It is quite a difficult thing to do, and further more difficult thing to explain to our families, being non- muslims, often non believers. They want us to succeed and cannot comprehend such as 'laid-back' attitude as they would see it.

But it isn't about being laid back, we will have to job search, apply for jobs, go to dozens of interviews. It is the outcome of all of these which we leave upon Allah to guide us with.

What I have noticed about a lot of sisters I have met over the past 2 years is an incredible sense of entrepreneurship. Mashallah.

Well, thinking about it, starting your own business that you can run from home is probably the easiest way to work as a muslimah. You chose your hours, you can pray when you want to, you keep to your principles and you do not have to worry about wearing your hijab or niqab. SubhanAllah.

And the Prophets' own wife (saw), Khadijah, is one of the most inspiring people to look up to in that prospect. She was a business woman of her own right, she ran her own business and was very successful, mashallah.

Inshallah, my next post will be about her and how we can aspire to be more like her Inshallah.

Back to blogging

Assalam Walaikum sisters!

Things have seems to go back to a normal rythm, two months after our wedding and so I am 100% ready to take on the blogging again.

Follow me on Twitter @RevertDiaries for daily quotes, fashion inspiration and crafty ideas!

I am also on Pose, the fashion app that allows you to upload pictures of outfits and of inspiring fashion. Follow me there under therevertdiaries.

I look forward to lots of articles and inspiring times!!

I would be interested in hearing your stories of how this Christmas season went for you as a revert to Islam, especially if this was your first one as a Muslim, inshallah.

May Allah bless you all sisters!!

x

Christmas Period

Salam.

Here is a very interesting and supportive message from Solace.

XMAS AND NEW YEAR SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR REVERTS!

on Saturday, 15 December 2012. Posted in New Muslims

Assalamu alaikum

This time is a very difficult time for reverts regardless of whether they have been Muslim for 1 week or 15 years! SOLACE acknowledges and understands that it is at this time of the year that many sisters feel lonely and a deep sense of possibly family loss. SOLACE has sought the advice of a few revert sisters and we would like to share some tips for surviving the Xmas and New Year season.

PLEASE FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO AS MANY REVERTS THAT YOU KNOW.

* Remember you have been on a spiritual journey which they haven't shared. Therefore changes which come from the heart for the revert, such as no longer celebrating non Muslim festivals, are shocking to a family who usually just see the do's and don'ts of Islam, and not the spiritual side. It's important to be sensitive to the family and as open as possible. Share with them your reasons for the changes in your approach, and perhaps warn them before these changes happen.

* Give gifts to your relatives at both Eids, just as they want to give your family gifts at both birthdays and Christmas. In this way all the family, especially the children, don't miss out and everyone can learn from each other. You can always save the gifts for Eid if you prefer, just as they may save your gifts for Christmas! Alternatively, ask them to buy the children winter presents at the beginning or middle of December but not near the day itself.

* Remember to call them on the days around Christmas - they'll be missing you, and by spending time asking them about their day, you are showing an interest in their lives, just as you want them to show an interest in yours. Be open to chatting about their preparations and plans so they don't feel you've changed beyond all recognition, but just be gentle and firm in your own beliefs. At the end of the day, you can't just pretend its not happening.

* If you don't want to be with family over Christmas, try to visit them at some point earlier or later on in December. If you want to visit on the day, don't participate in the Christmas lunch and giving of presents, but make it in the evening after everything is over. This may keep both yourselves and your family happy, whilst standing clear of the ritual Christmas activities. And during the time you do spend with them inside the house, try to look good! They need to see that although their daughter covers herself fully, she can still take pride in her appearance. Take pretty clothes when you go to visit, wear a coloured scarf if you normally wear black, etc. It can really make a difference to them.

* If you're struggling yourself with feelings of emptiness, being apart on the day when all the family used to be together, make alternative plans. Keep busy during these times. Utilise the events that often go on in the mosques such as special talks at this time of year. Have a day out, as the roads are generally clear, and parking is free. Just make sure that parks etc are open, otherwise the children may end up disappointed. Visit a large mosque in a city some distance away that you wouldn't usually get to visit, or go natural - beaches and forests are always open!

* If you decide to stay at home, have a family Halaqa or invite other sisters round, especially the revert sisters you know - and take time together to study about Prophet Isa (a.s) in detail, developing a love and renewed understanding of his life as a Prophet. Go back to the Qur'an and Sunnah, and teach the children that Islam stands out as the One true religion, and is something to be proud of. Finally, spend more time on your prayer mat, praying for your non-Muslim family to come to Islam.

* If you're still a part of their family time in some small way, without celebrating Christmas itself, then maybe your family will feel more interested in joining you on one of your Eid days, thereby opening up Islam in a new way to them. So without overstepping the boundaries of Islam, aim to see your gentle and generous approach at their time of year as a means of Daw'ah.

Wasalamu alaikum

SOLACE

www.solaceuk.org

Inspiring fashion

Salam Sisters!
I have found these really inspiring videos from a sister in the UK who has her own fashion blog.
I just wanted to share her talent and link you up to her youtube account.
Here is her Eid video

Love, Weddings and Marriage.

Assalam Walaikum Warahmatullah dear sisters.

I am sorry for the really long lack of updates and articles. I have been busy and occupied this month with so many different things.

A few of those things have led me onto a path of thought and self reflection upon those three words: Love, Weddings and Marriage. As close in appearance as these words may seem, they are actually 3 completely different concepts and as a sister, I think it is important to know more about all three of those.

To compensate for the absence, I will upload articles and videos following those 3 themes Inshallah, over the next month, and hopefully, guide myself and you my beautiful sisters into a peaceful and happy marriage, Inshallah.

First allow me to talk a bit about what’s been going on in my head. Last night, I went to as sister’s Mehndi night. It was a really nice evening with all the sisters chatting and dancing along, eating some yummy food and getting some henna done. But one of the parts of the party that marked me the most was one of the talks given by a sister. She spoke about marriage, and how to make the marriage work islamically. That both husband and wife must know their place and respect those rules for a smooth functional marriage.  She recommended a book which exists both for husbands and wives: Winning The Heart Of Your Husband/Wife by Ibraahim ibn Saaleh al-Mahmud.

A wedding, sure is a beautiful occasion, but the wedding party is superficial, and the real work needs to be put into the actual marriage. As an engaged woman, I can testify that you tend to focus so much on the wedding that you forget to work on the actual marriage which could end up in disaster. And if some of us marry for love, others marry and hope to find love, both being only achievable if a certain amount of work is put into marriage. Love isn’t what will make your marriage work. Love is sometimes what brought you together in the first place, or what grows in a successful marriage. This is a truth I have only recently learned through both experience and reading. No matter how much you love your spouse, it is going to take work to make it last.

But this isn’t me being negative, on the opposite. It is an adventure, where both side have to take risks, learn about the other person, adapt where they can but more importantly it is also a journey of self-discovery.

Here are some things to get us thinking:

-Don’t expect perfection out of your spouse, as you are not perfect yourself. Seek self-perfection first, look at your mistakes before judging your other half.

-Learn to speak their language. Most of us speak what we can call “an emotional language”. That is the way you express your love, and feel most loved in. Gary Chapman, a Christian couple councilor wrote a very interesting book about this called “the 5 Languages of Love”. It was recommended to me by a sister and have found it really helpful. Check out their webpage to find out what your language is: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

-Romance is what beginnings are made of. As time goes by, we might forget to let our spouse know how much we really do appreciate him. If he/she makes you a cuppa, show your appreciation. Any small gesture if appreciated, can go a long way. And make sure you keep doing the same on your side, little gestures of affection do speak louder than words.

Finally I recommend this series of videos from Lewisham Islamic Centre about marriage. Mashallah, they are very inspiring!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Av3nHU1XfTs&feature=share&list=ULAv3nHU1XfTs 

Hope this can help some of you my sisters, these are my private musings, as you know researched in books and online so please do forgive me if I have made any mistakes.

Salam to all.

And Mabrook to all of you recently or about to be married sisters!!!

Post Ramadan lessons

Salam sisters! I don't know about you, but I'm really feeling the withdrawal from Ramadan this week. Everything seems confusing, I feel guilty eating or making myself tea or coffee?
It made me think about how we can make the feeling of Ramadan last us throughout the year?

I'd like to hear your suggestions!

I m going to apply one thing I have learned inshallah: your body doesn't need as much food as you actually eat. I felt lighter and more energetic while fasting, because my body didn't any surplus food to deal with! So I will cut down portions to smaller sizes and only eat when am hungry, and not just because it's lunch/ dinner time.
I will also try and put together a charity day inshallah where I will bring food and water to those in need in the streets of London. If anyone is interested in joining me get in touch on here by leaving a comment.

Salams to all xx

Fashion tip: staying cool in the heat

Buying clothes as a new muslimah can be quite daunting, we have so many extra things to think about!
One tip a good friend shared with me was to buy tops a size bigger than your actual size. That way you will find yourself in a looser and less fitting top. And you don't have to compromise on style.
Another difficulty, specifically in summer, is how to keep cool.
We must stay covered and modest but how can we do that when the temperatures rise, like they have this weekend?
Well they are many tricks to solve that. One of them is linen trousers. They are light to wear but cover up nicely without drowning you. You can find them in any high street shop- primark and h&m do very good ones in many colours! Teamed with a pretty tunique, you could put together a cool hippy-ish styled outfit. But the great thing about linens is that they are very versatile, so if you are more the smart looking type, team it with a shirt dress and a belt, et voila! I ll try and post some examples soon.

And then they are maxi skirts! I love maxi skirts. I have bought 3 this summer and do the trick! Plus they are still spot on trend wise! Get them floaty to create more impact and let the air flow better. By tucking if your floaty shirts and tops inside the waistline, you will ensure the look doesn't become too 'frumpy' Tk max, primark and h&m again are your winners on this for highstreet retail, otherwise asos do some really nice ones like this red one here!
Pictures coming up shortly inshallah
Xxx

Salams sisters!!

Eid mubarak!

Dear sisters and brothers! May Allah bless you all and your families! Eid has come! We can all spend the day tomorrow rejoicing with our loved ones!
We will heading to Norbury park for outdoor prayers tomorrow which should be really fantastic! I'm looking forward to it! Then I will spend the day with my fiancé s family!
They are a few mosques in south west London alhamdullah, but I am still looking for a genuine Muslim mosque with a waw factor, a grand mosque with a complete feel of peace and serenity, a mosque with white walls, stained windows high ceilings... The almadiyah community have them ... I think it's time we did too! If anyone knows of any really special mosques let me know! Salam to you all out there! Duas all round! Xx

Islam and the media

Islam and the media, I think it is safe to say are not the best of friends.
I would even say that Faith and the media are not the best of friends.
But now and then you can be pleasantly surprised. And I am all about positivity and even more keen on good surprises! So let me share this with you.
 On sunday morning, A. and I found this video on line which made us both feel so relieved. Finally a mainstream news-report showed a non judgemental view of reverts in Australia. Australia which suffers a lot from racism, out of all places.
The interview shows 3 reverts in Australia and invites them to talk about their faith and their new lives in a really honest and inspiring way. Enough talking, just watch and enjoy :)

Very excited to go here this evening http://www.newmuslims.org.uk/courses.php#fasting

Iftar for reverts and their partners! That is really exciting to me because I keep going to events which are for sisters only and its really frustrating, because I like to share what I learn with my other half, but its always better to learn together.

Anyway, going there with a friend L. She will be going with her husband too, and there will a lot of my friends from Turning Point there.

Now I haven’t talked about Turning Point yet but that is because they deserve more attention than a –quickly over a tea break – type article.

I have a busy wedding prep weekend ahead of me but will try to keep up the blogging still!

Until then, Salam to all.

x