The things I have learnt as a Muslimah

Salaams my dear readers... I haven't written anything for at least a year and I am so glad to have managed to get myself back here. The past 18 months have been very interesting for me, I''ve managed to push my career to somewhere a lot closer to my goals, with Allah s guidance alhamdulillah.

I have had some incredible things come my way, including being invited to donate an outfit to the Museum of London as it illustrates the change in muslim fashion today. SubhanAllah. I will have to create an entire entry on the matter though as it isn't what brought me here today.

I recently found myself pondering over the changes I have seen in myself since turning to Islam and how , many of these aspects may be surprising and unexpected.

The first noticeable change for me has been with my fashion and clothing. Being a muslimah has made me prouder of being female. It has empowered me emotionally to connect with my feminine side. I hadn't really thought of this until I was actually looking at the outfits I was donating to Museum of London. I noticed a vast array of creams, pinks, pastels, sheer fabrics, lace and pearls. Some very feminine items. The funny part is I used to hate pink with a passion. I didn't hate it on others or in nature but I didn't want it associated to me. Why? I think partly because I am blonde. I didn't want to fall into the stereotype of a Barbie doll. I didn't want to be missjudged as stupid or superficial. So I stayed very clear away from the colour. 

Somehow, now that I am Muslim, I have come to love pink. One reason is that with a headscarf I can never be associated to a barbie again, I have stood up to my beliefs and shown the intellect behind it. The second reason is that under my headscarf, my hair can be whatever colour I want, if people want to judge me, it will be on my Hijab and nothing else. The fact I am now also a wife has helped me channel my feeling of being a woman in the truest sense of the word. Alhamdulillah, I feel really blessed . I have also gained the understanding that my body belongs to Allah, and this has made me respect myself more. I am taking greater care of it. 

An other aspect of me which has changed is my interest in politics and speaking up for women rights and for the missrepresented . I am not an argumentative person and put me in a group of more than 4 people and I go quiet. However, with Islam, I have grown more passionate about certain issues and have found myself wanting to make a stand against injustices. It's also made me want to get into politics and help create a better environment for Britons. We have sat back and watched to government shred the economy to pieces, along with our trust in them and the environment.

I guess the right way to phrase this is that Islam has empowered me and given me the confidence to be myself. 5 years ago I would have been incapable of speaking in public. 2 months ago I spoke to just under a hundred sisters about using the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) as a role model to help inspire our youth. 

The newest aspect of my development has been to realisation of how green I am willing and trying for my life to be. Mainly inspired by May s issue of Sisters Magazine about the Green lifestyle... I got so excited reading all these articles about looking after the earth, recycling and responsible homing. I have devoured the magazines' articles and this has inspired me for my next talk at Turning Point Inshallah.  

Do I miss anything from my life before or the old me?

No

Do I crave anything I haven't got?

Yes, two things. Motherhood and a better practice of my faith Inshallah things which will come in good time. 

I am looking forward to the other paths this journey will uncover....

Speak soon sisters :) 

Salaam alaikum 

Flame of faith

Salam!

I have been working hard on a talk for turning point next Friday Inshallah. It is open day and a few of us sisters are talking about the beauty of the Qu'ran.

I will be uploading my notes on here soon as they share some good insight on being a revert.

To give you a sample of it now, I wanted to share a poem I wrote and will be reading Friday Inshallah.

I would love to know what you all think.

It is based on my interpretation of the Ayat An Nur in the Qu'ran.

Flame of Faith

By Fiona  Cross Chowdhury

Like a pearl in it’s shell

My faith grows in Allah’s nacre,

His guidance shapes my heart and soul

 

Into a gem which is called Iman.

 

Like a flower in the sun,

My faith is blooming under Allah’s light,

From a small grey seed to a colourful scented rose,

I would be nothing without his nourishment.

 

Like the most precious jewel I have ever seen,

I have been given a priceless gift,

A gift I will forever treasure,

In a chest made of glass, for all to see, for all to share.

 

Like a star shining in the sky,

Islam has guided me into Allah’s light

I am rich because I have been blessed by knowledge,

I am rich because the oil of a blessed olive tree

Lit a flame in my heart and in my soul.

A flame made of pearl, made of light and made of Gold.

The flame of Faith.

 

I'm attaching a picture of something which always makes me cry a little- of awe more than anything... (source: www.technobuffalo.com)

2013 Resolutions

Assalam Walaikum!

The dawn of 2013 is approaching, Inshallah!

While many Muslims around the world do not adhere to taking resolutions for the new year as it is based on the Christian calendar, it is a tradition that many of us reverts have practiced prior to Islam.

I will be making a resolution this year, as I did last year and I will explain to you the reasoning behind this.

In the country we live in, the new year is also a synonym of winter, a time where everything has been stripped down, ready to come back to life.
We, humans, subhannallah, have been created by Allah, like plants and animals, like the sky and the sea and everything else around us. We live in sync with the world around us. It is the science behind the faith, mashallah.
Our bodies are ready for new beginnings in spring, our minds feel hopeful, we often feel more positive and more creative at that time of the year for that reason. Allah has given us seasons, and we must appreciate them all for how they affect us.

I feel that taking resolutions can be helpful if they are linked to our deen, inshallah.

So let me tell you a story, my story.
On the 1st of January  2011, I took a resolution. I told myself that this was the year I would convert to Islam. On the 12th of June 2011, I took my shahada at Tooting Mosque. A week later, my fiancé and I had taken our Nikkah.
On the 1st of January 2012, I decided to eat hallal meat only. That was a difficult part of my convertion, but mashallah, I managed to stick to it, with the help of Allah's kindest and guidance.
On the 1st of January 2013, Inshallah, I will start doing my 5 daily prayers.

For reverts it is important to keep improving our deen at the speed which is right for us. Rushing ourselves when we aren't ready may take us away from the deen. Some sisters mashallah, manage to change all these things at once, others may take months, or years.

I make duah for all of my sisters to have a wonderful year 2013, filled with happiness, prosperity, health, wealth, learning, and most importantly with the beauty of the deen. Ameen.

Salaams!

xx

Can I be a practising Muslimah and have a career, here in the UK?

Assalam Walaikum sisters!

I've been thinking about the subject of work recently, as a Muslim, as a revert and as a British woman.

I got made redundant last month. After months of feeling financially unsafe and of work becoming more and more uncertain for 2013, my boss did what she had to do, and let go of some of her staff. That meant me.

I didn't feel that upset, to be honest, mashallah. I saw this sudden change as a blessing. For well over a year now, I had been thinking of a career change. I wanted something that allowed me to practice my faith, keep to my values, yet allow my creativity to be expressed.

I am seeing this as a sign of encouragement from Allah, subhannallah, to be brave and push myself to aim higher and gain greater achievements.

Although I am still unsure which direction to take, I have had some ideas.
But actually it isn't an easy and straight forward decision for reverts to Islam. There are many things to consider that we would not have had to think about before.

Will I be able to pray? Will I be working in a Hallal environment? Will I be ok to wear my headscarf there? Will I be regarded as good as any other employee?

To add to the equation, I have only ever worked and wanted to work in the media. How can I combine all of this together?

Inshallah.... That is the only Duah that comes to my mind.

We can sit and fret and worry, or we can leave it to the hands of Allah. It is quite a difficult thing to do, and further more difficult thing to explain to our families, being non- muslims, often non believers. They want us to succeed and cannot comprehend such as 'laid-back' attitude as they would see it.

But it isn't about being laid back, we will have to job search, apply for jobs, go to dozens of interviews. It is the outcome of all of these which we leave upon Allah to guide us with.

What I have noticed about a lot of sisters I have met over the past 2 years is an incredible sense of entrepreneurship. Mashallah.

Well, thinking about it, starting your own business that you can run from home is probably the easiest way to work as a muslimah. You chose your hours, you can pray when you want to, you keep to your principles and you do not have to worry about wearing your hijab or niqab. SubhanAllah.

And the Prophets' own wife (saw), Khadijah, is one of the most inspiring people to look up to in that prospect. She was a business woman of her own right, she ran her own business and was very successful, mashallah.

Inshallah, my next post will be about her and how we can aspire to be more like her Inshallah.

Christmas Period

Salam.

Here is a very interesting and supportive message from Solace.

XMAS AND NEW YEAR SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR REVERTS!

on Saturday, 15 December 2012. Posted in New Muslims

Assalamu alaikum

This time is a very difficult time for reverts regardless of whether they have been Muslim for 1 week or 15 years! SOLACE acknowledges and understands that it is at this time of the year that many sisters feel lonely and a deep sense of possibly family loss. SOLACE has sought the advice of a few revert sisters and we would like to share some tips for surviving the Xmas and New Year season.

PLEASE FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO AS MANY REVERTS THAT YOU KNOW.

* Remember you have been on a spiritual journey which they haven't shared. Therefore changes which come from the heart for the revert, such as no longer celebrating non Muslim festivals, are shocking to a family who usually just see the do's and don'ts of Islam, and not the spiritual side. It's important to be sensitive to the family and as open as possible. Share with them your reasons for the changes in your approach, and perhaps warn them before these changes happen.

* Give gifts to your relatives at both Eids, just as they want to give your family gifts at both birthdays and Christmas. In this way all the family, especially the children, don't miss out and everyone can learn from each other. You can always save the gifts for Eid if you prefer, just as they may save your gifts for Christmas! Alternatively, ask them to buy the children winter presents at the beginning or middle of December but not near the day itself.

* Remember to call them on the days around Christmas - they'll be missing you, and by spending time asking them about their day, you are showing an interest in their lives, just as you want them to show an interest in yours. Be open to chatting about their preparations and plans so they don't feel you've changed beyond all recognition, but just be gentle and firm in your own beliefs. At the end of the day, you can't just pretend its not happening.

* If you don't want to be with family over Christmas, try to visit them at some point earlier or later on in December. If you want to visit on the day, don't participate in the Christmas lunch and giving of presents, but make it in the evening after everything is over. This may keep both yourselves and your family happy, whilst standing clear of the ritual Christmas activities. And during the time you do spend with them inside the house, try to look good! They need to see that although their daughter covers herself fully, she can still take pride in her appearance. Take pretty clothes when you go to visit, wear a coloured scarf if you normally wear black, etc. It can really make a difference to them.

* If you're struggling yourself with feelings of emptiness, being apart on the day when all the family used to be together, make alternative plans. Keep busy during these times. Utilise the events that often go on in the mosques such as special talks at this time of year. Have a day out, as the roads are generally clear, and parking is free. Just make sure that parks etc are open, otherwise the children may end up disappointed. Visit a large mosque in a city some distance away that you wouldn't usually get to visit, or go natural - beaches and forests are always open!

* If you decide to stay at home, have a family Halaqa or invite other sisters round, especially the revert sisters you know - and take time together to study about Prophet Isa (a.s) in detail, developing a love and renewed understanding of his life as a Prophet. Go back to the Qur'an and Sunnah, and teach the children that Islam stands out as the One true religion, and is something to be proud of. Finally, spend more time on your prayer mat, praying for your non-Muslim family to come to Islam.

* If you're still a part of their family time in some small way, without celebrating Christmas itself, then maybe your family will feel more interested in joining you on one of your Eid days, thereby opening up Islam in a new way to them. So without overstepping the boundaries of Islam, aim to see your gentle and generous approach at their time of year as a means of Daw'ah.

Wasalamu alaikum

SOLACE

www.solaceuk.org

Swap shop

Sisters
Salams to all of you!! After months of preparations I am finally married- al hamdullilah!
The swap sale will be taking place Saturday at 11am so please do email me to say you will be coming!
I will email back with an address for you!
The clothes we will collect will be donated to centre point which have agreed to take the clothes at one of their centres in london. Centre point is a charity that provides for teenaged who are homeless. Look up their website, alhamdullilah, it's really inspiring!
I hope to see you all Saturday sisters!! And remember it is an opportunity for dawah as it is an interfaith event!
Salam to you all!

Beat the Chill!

Salam sisters! Hello Friends!

The chilly weather is slowly going to creep up on us this month and many of us will be swapping over our summer wardrobes for our winter ones!

Each year, I end up giving a lot of clothes to charity when I do my swap over: clothes that are too big, too small (I wish) or which I never wear anymore. 

This year I want to put together a project that will involve all of you out there in an INTERFAITH project!

Let me give you a bit of background on this project: 3 years ago, in early december, A and I decided to reach out to the homeless by going around central London handing out christmas cards and a small gift. The idea behind that was to bring a sense of home and belonging to the unfortunate ones who do not have an address and therefore will not be receiving cards or gifts for the holidays. 

What we learned was that there just wasn't enough socks, gloves and scarves that we could give them. 

I really want to do something similar this year, the halal way of course, but involving our other communities, not just the Muslims!

So here it is girls : THE PLAN (Inshallah)

- Change your wardrobe over to winter/autumn mode. 

-Put aside anything you think you could do without, even socks, blankets or hats.

 (these must be in good quality- good enough to give as a present to a friend) 

The warmer the better!

- Spread the word to your friends, muslims, christians, jews, atheists any one is welcome to join!

- Come along to the swap shop ( SUNDAY 25th NOVEMBER) and have some girly fun, swap some clothes with other sisters. Address will be provided when you confirm your attendance to therevertdiaries @ yahoo.co.uk

- Anything you haven't swapped will then go to the homeless in London. Stay back and help with the wrapping. 

Teas, biscuits and cakes will be provided. 

- Join the team going out to central to hand out the parcels on SATURDAY 1st DECEMBER. Details on the day will come closer to the date but one team can hand out teas, another can hand out packets, and another can hand out sandwiches. 

-We will be followed/ accompanied by brothers for safety. I will get my then husband to lead a team of brother to collect donations too, so do involve your sons, husbands and brothers into this project. 

Come on girlies! Come on sisters! London has a heart, lets prove it!

On the theme of marriage

Found a short film I enjoyed watching so thought I would share it:

Love, Weddings and Marriage.

Assalam Walaikum Warahmatullah dear sisters.

I am sorry for the really long lack of updates and articles. I have been busy and occupied this month with so many different things.

A few of those things have led me onto a path of thought and self reflection upon those three words: Love, Weddings and Marriage. As close in appearance as these words may seem, they are actually 3 completely different concepts and as a sister, I think it is important to know more about all three of those.

To compensate for the absence, I will upload articles and videos following those 3 themes Inshallah, over the next month, and hopefully, guide myself and you my beautiful sisters into a peaceful and happy marriage, Inshallah.

First allow me to talk a bit about what’s been going on in my head. Last night, I went to as sister’s Mehndi night. It was a really nice evening with all the sisters chatting and dancing along, eating some yummy food and getting some henna done. But one of the parts of the party that marked me the most was one of the talks given by a sister. She spoke about marriage, and how to make the marriage work islamically. That both husband and wife must know their place and respect those rules for a smooth functional marriage.  She recommended a book which exists both for husbands and wives: Winning The Heart Of Your Husband/Wife by Ibraahim ibn Saaleh al-Mahmud.

A wedding, sure is a beautiful occasion, but the wedding party is superficial, and the real work needs to be put into the actual marriage. As an engaged woman, I can testify that you tend to focus so much on the wedding that you forget to work on the actual marriage which could end up in disaster. And if some of us marry for love, others marry and hope to find love, both being only achievable if a certain amount of work is put into marriage. Love isn’t what will make your marriage work. Love is sometimes what brought you together in the first place, or what grows in a successful marriage. This is a truth I have only recently learned through both experience and reading. No matter how much you love your spouse, it is going to take work to make it last.

But this isn’t me being negative, on the opposite. It is an adventure, where both side have to take risks, learn about the other person, adapt where they can but more importantly it is also a journey of self-discovery.

Here are some things to get us thinking:

-Don’t expect perfection out of your spouse, as you are not perfect yourself. Seek self-perfection first, look at your mistakes before judging your other half.

-Learn to speak their language. Most of us speak what we can call “an emotional language”. That is the way you express your love, and feel most loved in. Gary Chapman, a Christian couple councilor wrote a very interesting book about this called “the 5 Languages of Love”. It was recommended to me by a sister and have found it really helpful. Check out their webpage to find out what your language is: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

-Romance is what beginnings are made of. As time goes by, we might forget to let our spouse know how much we really do appreciate him. If he/she makes you a cuppa, show your appreciation. Any small gesture if appreciated, can go a long way. And make sure you keep doing the same on your side, little gestures of affection do speak louder than words.

Finally I recommend this series of videos from Lewisham Islamic Centre about marriage. Mashallah, they are very inspiring!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Av3nHU1XfTs&feature=share&list=ULAv3nHU1XfTs 

Hope this can help some of you my sisters, these are my private musings, as you know researched in books and online so please do forgive me if I have made any mistakes.

Salam to all.

And Mabrook to all of you recently or about to be married sisters!!!

Dealing with abuse

As a revert, I guess it's something I expected at some point. I mean you hear stories of racism, parents denying their children, families being broken up... As a revert you just know that along with the blessings you receive, hardship is on its way!
You will encounter it, in some way or another and it is better to be prepared. For each bit of abuse received, ask Allah to help you and you will find strength.

A few minutes ago, I experienced my first verbal abuse. To be honest, in 1.5 years of being a Muslim it's surprising to have not been receiving this sooner.
A and I were on the bus after a nice evening out. I had a scarf loosely on my head, as I always do in the evenings. As we went to get off the bus, a woman yelled:
What the fu** has she got on her head? What does she think she s Indian or something?
I wasn't quite sure she was talking about me, but then I realised there was only us left on the bus.
Her and her other friends went off their way, not before screaming:
No matter how hard you try you ll never fit in anywhere! Or something along those lines.

By then I had picked up they were insulting me ( my brain chose to tune out the other stuff they were saying) I could really feel my temper rising. A just told me to keep walking and I started laughing.

Partly at their stupidity, partly because I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to talk back to them but that would have out me in danger ( they weren't the smallest or kindest looking people). In the end I felt shaky, A felt it was because they d seen me with him they d said that, but I think they just reacted that way because of fear, the fear of a phenomenon happening more and more in the UK: British girls are converting to Islam.

Allah somehow pushed us both home safe, we never talked back which we usually both would have, and it was best that way. Now I will pray that one of their loved ones converts. That will hopefully help them open up their minds to our beautiful faith and teach them a lesson in acceptance. I am shocked but not really upset. I did know this would come one day.

Subhanallah, God gave me strength to get past it safe, inshallah, I will carry on dealing with these things with wisdom.
Goodnight sisters, may Allah protect you all and make you impermeable to insults and abuse. Inshallah
Xx

Eid mubarak!

Dear sisters and brothers! May Allah bless you all and your families! Eid has come! We can all spend the day tomorrow rejoicing with our loved ones!
We will heading to Norbury park for outdoor prayers tomorrow which should be really fantastic! I'm looking forward to it! Then I will spend the day with my fiancé s family!
They are a few mosques in south west London alhamdullah, but I am still looking for a genuine Muslim mosque with a waw factor, a grand mosque with a complete feel of peace and serenity, a mosque with white walls, stained windows high ceilings... The almadiyah community have them ... I think it's time we did too! If anyone knows of any really special mosques let me know! Salam to you all out there! Duas all round! Xx

Very excited to go here this evening http://www.newmuslims.org.uk/courses.php#fasting

Iftar for reverts and their partners! That is really exciting to me because I keep going to events which are for sisters only and its really frustrating, because I like to share what I learn with my other half, but its always better to learn together.

Anyway, going there with a friend L. She will be going with her husband too, and there will a lot of my friends from Turning Point there.

Now I haven’t talked about Turning Point yet but that is because they deserve more attention than a –quickly over a tea break – type article.

I have a busy wedding prep weekend ahead of me but will try to keep up the blogging still!

Until then, Salam to all.

x