The things I have learnt as a Muslimah

Salaams my dear readers... I haven't written anything for at least a year and I am so glad to have managed to get myself back here. The past 18 months have been very interesting for me, I''ve managed to push my career to somewhere a lot closer to my goals, with Allah s guidance alhamdulillah.

I have had some incredible things come my way, including being invited to donate an outfit to the Museum of London as it illustrates the change in muslim fashion today. SubhanAllah. I will have to create an entire entry on the matter though as it isn't what brought me here today.

I recently found myself pondering over the changes I have seen in myself since turning to Islam and how , many of these aspects may be surprising and unexpected.

The first noticeable change for me has been with my fashion and clothing. Being a muslimah has made me prouder of being female. It has empowered me emotionally to connect with my feminine side. I hadn't really thought of this until I was actually looking at the outfits I was donating to Museum of London. I noticed a vast array of creams, pinks, pastels, sheer fabrics, lace and pearls. Some very feminine items. The funny part is I used to hate pink with a passion. I didn't hate it on others or in nature but I didn't want it associated to me. Why? I think partly because I am blonde. I didn't want to fall into the stereotype of a Barbie doll. I didn't want to be missjudged as stupid or superficial. So I stayed very clear away from the colour. 

Somehow, now that I am Muslim, I have come to love pink. One reason is that with a headscarf I can never be associated to a barbie again, I have stood up to my beliefs and shown the intellect behind it. The second reason is that under my headscarf, my hair can be whatever colour I want, if people want to judge me, it will be on my Hijab and nothing else. The fact I am now also a wife has helped me channel my feeling of being a woman in the truest sense of the word. Alhamdulillah, I feel really blessed . I have also gained the understanding that my body belongs to Allah, and this has made me respect myself more. I am taking greater care of it. 

An other aspect of me which has changed is my interest in politics and speaking up for women rights and for the missrepresented . I am not an argumentative person and put me in a group of more than 4 people and I go quiet. However, with Islam, I have grown more passionate about certain issues and have found myself wanting to make a stand against injustices. It's also made me want to get into politics and help create a better environment for Britons. We have sat back and watched to government shred the economy to pieces, along with our trust in them and the environment.

I guess the right way to phrase this is that Islam has empowered me and given me the confidence to be myself. 5 years ago I would have been incapable of speaking in public. 2 months ago I spoke to just under a hundred sisters about using the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) as a role model to help inspire our youth. 

The newest aspect of my development has been to realisation of how green I am willing and trying for my life to be. Mainly inspired by May s issue of Sisters Magazine about the Green lifestyle... I got so excited reading all these articles about looking after the earth, recycling and responsible homing. I have devoured the magazines' articles and this has inspired me for my next talk at Turning Point Inshallah.  

Do I miss anything from my life before or the old me?

No

Do I crave anything I haven't got?

Yes, two things. Motherhood and a better practice of my faith Inshallah things which will come in good time. 

I am looking forward to the other paths this journey will uncover....

Speak soon sisters :) 

Salaam alaikum 

2013 Resolutions

Assalam Walaikum!

The dawn of 2013 is approaching, Inshallah!

While many Muslims around the world do not adhere to taking resolutions for the new year as it is based on the Christian calendar, it is a tradition that many of us reverts have practiced prior to Islam.

I will be making a resolution this year, as I did last year and I will explain to you the reasoning behind this.

In the country we live in, the new year is also a synonym of winter, a time where everything has been stripped down, ready to come back to life.
We, humans, subhannallah, have been created by Allah, like plants and animals, like the sky and the sea and everything else around us. We live in sync with the world around us. It is the science behind the faith, mashallah.
Our bodies are ready for new beginnings in spring, our minds feel hopeful, we often feel more positive and more creative at that time of the year for that reason. Allah has given us seasons, and we must appreciate them all for how they affect us.

I feel that taking resolutions can be helpful if they are linked to our deen, inshallah.

So let me tell you a story, my story.
On the 1st of January  2011, I took a resolution. I told myself that this was the year I would convert to Islam. On the 12th of June 2011, I took my shahada at Tooting Mosque. A week later, my fiancé and I had taken our Nikkah.
On the 1st of January 2012, I decided to eat hallal meat only. That was a difficult part of my convertion, but mashallah, I managed to stick to it, with the help of Allah's kindest and guidance.
On the 1st of January 2013, Inshallah, I will start doing my 5 daily prayers.

For reverts it is important to keep improving our deen at the speed which is right for us. Rushing ourselves when we aren't ready may take us away from the deen. Some sisters mashallah, manage to change all these things at once, others may take months, or years.

I make duah for all of my sisters to have a wonderful year 2013, filled with happiness, prosperity, health, wealth, learning, and most importantly with the beauty of the deen. Ameen.

Salaams!

xx

Can I be a practising Muslimah and have a career, here in the UK?

Assalam Walaikum sisters!

I've been thinking about the subject of work recently, as a Muslim, as a revert and as a British woman.

I got made redundant last month. After months of feeling financially unsafe and of work becoming more and more uncertain for 2013, my boss did what she had to do, and let go of some of her staff. That meant me.

I didn't feel that upset, to be honest, mashallah. I saw this sudden change as a blessing. For well over a year now, I had been thinking of a career change. I wanted something that allowed me to practice my faith, keep to my values, yet allow my creativity to be expressed.

I am seeing this as a sign of encouragement from Allah, subhannallah, to be brave and push myself to aim higher and gain greater achievements.

Although I am still unsure which direction to take, I have had some ideas.
But actually it isn't an easy and straight forward decision for reverts to Islam. There are many things to consider that we would not have had to think about before.

Will I be able to pray? Will I be working in a Hallal environment? Will I be ok to wear my headscarf there? Will I be regarded as good as any other employee?

To add to the equation, I have only ever worked and wanted to work in the media. How can I combine all of this together?

Inshallah.... That is the only Duah that comes to my mind.

We can sit and fret and worry, or we can leave it to the hands of Allah. It is quite a difficult thing to do, and further more difficult thing to explain to our families, being non- muslims, often non believers. They want us to succeed and cannot comprehend such as 'laid-back' attitude as they would see it.

But it isn't about being laid back, we will have to job search, apply for jobs, go to dozens of interviews. It is the outcome of all of these which we leave upon Allah to guide us with.

What I have noticed about a lot of sisters I have met over the past 2 years is an incredible sense of entrepreneurship. Mashallah.

Well, thinking about it, starting your own business that you can run from home is probably the easiest way to work as a muslimah. You chose your hours, you can pray when you want to, you keep to your principles and you do not have to worry about wearing your hijab or niqab. SubhanAllah.

And the Prophets' own wife (saw), Khadijah, is one of the most inspiring people to look up to in that prospect. She was a business woman of her own right, she ran her own business and was very successful, mashallah.

Inshallah, my next post will be about her and how we can aspire to be more like her Inshallah.

Salam World

Salam!
A new social network is starting to make ripples in the muslim world... SalamWorld, a hallal network for brothers and sisters!
I can't wait to see it come to life in the UK inshallah...
Check it out!
http://salamworld.com/home.php

Love, Weddings and Marriage.

Assalam Walaikum Warahmatullah dear sisters.

I am sorry for the really long lack of updates and articles. I have been busy and occupied this month with so many different things.

A few of those things have led me onto a path of thought and self reflection upon those three words: Love, Weddings and Marriage. As close in appearance as these words may seem, they are actually 3 completely different concepts and as a sister, I think it is important to know more about all three of those.

To compensate for the absence, I will upload articles and videos following those 3 themes Inshallah, over the next month, and hopefully, guide myself and you my beautiful sisters into a peaceful and happy marriage, Inshallah.

First allow me to talk a bit about what’s been going on in my head. Last night, I went to as sister’s Mehndi night. It was a really nice evening with all the sisters chatting and dancing along, eating some yummy food and getting some henna done. But one of the parts of the party that marked me the most was one of the talks given by a sister. She spoke about marriage, and how to make the marriage work islamically. That both husband and wife must know their place and respect those rules for a smooth functional marriage.  She recommended a book which exists both for husbands and wives: Winning The Heart Of Your Husband/Wife by Ibraahim ibn Saaleh al-Mahmud.

A wedding, sure is a beautiful occasion, but the wedding party is superficial, and the real work needs to be put into the actual marriage. As an engaged woman, I can testify that you tend to focus so much on the wedding that you forget to work on the actual marriage which could end up in disaster. And if some of us marry for love, others marry and hope to find love, both being only achievable if a certain amount of work is put into marriage. Love isn’t what will make your marriage work. Love is sometimes what brought you together in the first place, or what grows in a successful marriage. This is a truth I have only recently learned through both experience and reading. No matter how much you love your spouse, it is going to take work to make it last.

But this isn’t me being negative, on the opposite. It is an adventure, where both side have to take risks, learn about the other person, adapt where they can but more importantly it is also a journey of self-discovery.

Here are some things to get us thinking:

-Don’t expect perfection out of your spouse, as you are not perfect yourself. Seek self-perfection first, look at your mistakes before judging your other half.

-Learn to speak their language. Most of us speak what we can call “an emotional language”. That is the way you express your love, and feel most loved in. Gary Chapman, a Christian couple councilor wrote a very interesting book about this called “the 5 Languages of Love”. It was recommended to me by a sister and have found it really helpful. Check out their webpage to find out what your language is: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

-Romance is what beginnings are made of. As time goes by, we might forget to let our spouse know how much we really do appreciate him. If he/she makes you a cuppa, show your appreciation. Any small gesture if appreciated, can go a long way. And make sure you keep doing the same on your side, little gestures of affection do speak louder than words.

Finally I recommend this series of videos from Lewisham Islamic Centre about marriage. Mashallah, they are very inspiring!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Av3nHU1XfTs&feature=share&list=ULAv3nHU1XfTs 

Hope this can help some of you my sisters, these are my private musings, as you know researched in books and online so please do forgive me if I have made any mistakes.

Salam to all.

And Mabrook to all of you recently or about to be married sisters!!!

Dealing with abuse

As a revert, I guess it's something I expected at some point. I mean you hear stories of racism, parents denying their children, families being broken up... As a revert you just know that along with the blessings you receive, hardship is on its way!
You will encounter it, in some way or another and it is better to be prepared. For each bit of abuse received, ask Allah to help you and you will find strength.

A few minutes ago, I experienced my first verbal abuse. To be honest, in 1.5 years of being a Muslim it's surprising to have not been receiving this sooner.
A and I were on the bus after a nice evening out. I had a scarf loosely on my head, as I always do in the evenings. As we went to get off the bus, a woman yelled:
What the fu** has she got on her head? What does she think she s Indian or something?
I wasn't quite sure she was talking about me, but then I realised there was only us left on the bus.
Her and her other friends went off their way, not before screaming:
No matter how hard you try you ll never fit in anywhere! Or something along those lines.

By then I had picked up they were insulting me ( my brain chose to tune out the other stuff they were saying) I could really feel my temper rising. A just told me to keep walking and I started laughing.

Partly at their stupidity, partly because I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to talk back to them but that would have out me in danger ( they weren't the smallest or kindest looking people). In the end I felt shaky, A felt it was because they d seen me with him they d said that, but I think they just reacted that way because of fear, the fear of a phenomenon happening more and more in the UK: British girls are converting to Islam.

Allah somehow pushed us both home safe, we never talked back which we usually both would have, and it was best that way. Now I will pray that one of their loved ones converts. That will hopefully help them open up their minds to our beautiful faith and teach them a lesson in acceptance. I am shocked but not really upset. I did know this would come one day.

Subhanallah, God gave me strength to get past it safe, inshallah, I will carry on dealing with these things with wisdom.
Goodnight sisters, may Allah protect you all and make you impermeable to insults and abuse. Inshallah
Xx